Tantric Sex as a term is bandied around the media in an ad hoc manner – yes, we all know that Sting and Trudy do it, or do they really? – however the Making Love workshop, brought to you by Jayne Blackman and Tim Broughton, invites couples to consider a different sort of tantra. One that does not rely on techniques – like testes tugging or PC muscle control in order to delay orgasm – but rather encourages ways of finding deep relaxation, sensitivity and presence together in order for a new, very sweet love to flow.
||Other tantric teachings talk about sex, but the Making Love work is the only tantra to focus specifically on the sexual organs themselves.
“In our approach, we become conscious of these two halves of one whole,” says Jayne, “and discover how to create ecstatic potential between them. In this way, we address the essential elements of sex.
We offer a tantric vision of sex, which involves an exploration of subtle genital communication and leads to states of ecstasy and meditation. And this can change your life. Because of our focus on sex, we only work with couples.”
||This form of tantra, Jayne and Tim refer to as Slow Sex which is in fact about slowing everything down from breathing to eye gazing, to talking and then penetration itself which can include soft penetration.
The other essential is cultivating sensitivity internally and externally. In the sex we so often have learned, we have become preoccupied by sensations like friction and orgasms; in Slow Sex the emphasis is a move towards subtleties so that couples can relish a much longer and richer making love experience.
“The truth is if we deeply relax during the sex act we naturally become ecstatic,” says Tim. “The secret of tantra is being present.”
And in the being present – different meditations and exercises are used to bring couples into their bodies – it is possible to transform tantric sex into tantric love for couples.
At the heart of this kind of tantric sex/love is Diana and Michael Richardson’s theory about the female and male genitals and how they form an energy circuit which is regenerative rather than exhausting. “In our approach,” Diana says, “the genitals get way more sensitive to each other, like musical instruments. It is a fine attunement, and sex improves.”
Be warned, this is not easy. This is not an overnight transformation but one, which requires commitment and practice and patience. “When we learn to relax in sex, it can go on for hours, there does not have to be an end point. It is a deeply satisfying experience, one of being loved and being loving. Discovering our hidden sexual potential requires us to play around with our patterns in sex,” says Michael.
The Richardsons were inspired by their spiritual teachers, Barry Long and Indian philosopher, Osho. “I was able to link a modern radical approach of Barry Long with tantric guidance that is thousands of years old – and beautifully interpreted by Osho. Barry Long is the roots and Osho the wings. Sex itself is an inspiration and a spiritual experience.”
The 7 day Making Love Retreat teaches a type of tantra that says first of all it’s paramount to be in your body, then to be able to connect to yourself and after that, to your partner. You won’t learn about mechanical techniques but rather delicious and sometimes humorous ways to deeply be together and relish those physical subtleties. And somewhere along the line, a new sexual and loving intelligence arises – this is not just a new picture of sex, it’s a new picture of love.